I personally think worship was wonderful today. Forget the technical problems we had. It was good. I loved it.

Still I yearn.
If thats what its called, then yes, I still do... These things just don't measure up. What I feel doesn't make sense at all. I just feel like crying again. I feel like screaming at someone. I feel like blaming someone. This cannot be my fault. But it always has been.
When life moves so fast that you forget how to feel. Or rather, you forget to feel... Then when the dust has settled, the emotions come at you like a ton of bricks.
Its one of those days where you don't feel like being good or holding back. Its coming to a point where you just want to hurt others so that they won't be happier than you. When you just want to curse at people. When you want to offend and destroy and shock them. It gets weird when people forget where you've come from and think that you've been goody two shoes all your life. When actually its a struggle day after day to make the right decisions to do the right thing. But to them, this is how you are.

But you'll be tested over and over again till you learn. Till it becomes really natural. Cos this is what you have to learn. This is 'entry-level requirements.' And if you put up a defence against it, it will slowly whit you away. But you know what to do.

Two looks. Thats all it took.
Pardon me... I need to go make myself blameless...

::: Lyric of the Day :::
Sometimes I drive or ride with my eyes closed tight
because if the skyline looks this way
then I don't want to sleep tonight.
Never giving up, always seeking light,
we must always try, try with all our might.
|mae - skyline drive|